O spare me, that I may recover strength, before I go hence, and be no more.
David spent the better part of his life in combat. There were national enemies but there were also personal enemies and spiritual enemies. In Psalms 39:12 (KJV)
Hear my prayer, O LORD, and give ear unto my cry; hold not thy peace at my tears: for I ama stranger with thee, anda sojourner, as all my fathers were.
He’s prayed, he’s cried the better part of his life. Now, as an old man he asks God for the grace to end well.
I’m older now. I understand the hurdles that being physically, emotionally and spiritually tired can bring. I’ve been around long enough to know that many slip before they pass.
- Some give up the battle for standards and doctrine[1]
- Some lose the balance between being a shepherd and lording over the flock[2]
One well known hymn writer, I understand, began to claim to be a messiah toward the end of his life.[3]
[a]
As I age, my body may not have the same abilities it once had. But a matter worthy of fervent prayer is that God would be gracious to give me strength to serve Him faithfully until “I go hence and be no more.”
[1] As a young pastor I sat at a meal with two seasoned preachers. One of them had been an associate pastor to a Baptist preacher well known for his doctrine integrity. The associate recounted how that, as he grew older, he stopped preaching so much on the distinctive doctrines of Baptists. When asked about it his response was, “I’ve grown weary of that fight.” That pastor’s son became the next pastor of the church. He took the church completely out of the contest for doctrinal distinctives.
[2] Another well-known pastor seemed to take on a messiah-like persona in his elderly years. Those who followed him seemed to follow him regardless of doctrinal errors and some obvious errors in good judgment.
[3] Spafford died of malaria on September 25, 1888, aged 59. At the time of his death, he was under the delusion that he was the Messiah. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horatio_Spafford)
[a]By way of contrast, the hymnwriter Willian Cowper lived under depression most of his adult life. He attempted suicide many times but always felt like God stopped him. Cowper collaborated with John Newton on several hymns. At one point Newton practically gave up on him, believing he could no longer prevent him from taking his own life. Cowper died of natural causes. His last words were to the effect of “I am not lost to God after all.”
To my readers:
Thank you! It is a great joy to me to know you read the thoughts and lessons God has given me in His word. I would love to hear from you. Please feel free to leave comments.
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